Plan for the Best, Prepare for the Worst

Reflecting on 2024: Setbacks and Hard Truths

Last year, my husband and I faced numerous setbacks. While some were blessings in disguise, others stemmed from poor communication and lack of follow-through from staff at our IVF facility. At times, it felt like we were just another name on a list—a deeply insulting experience considering how personal and unique IVF is for each individual or intended parent (IP).

Having been with the same facility for three years, it was disheartening to encounter behaviors that lacked empathy and engagement. Early in 2024, I even began exploring other IVF providers, something I never thought I’d do after emphasizing the importance of finding a provider who truly understands you in my previous blogs.

Here’s the reality: while you may find a great doctor, the staff supporting them plays a critical role in your experience. Unfortunately, these staff members—who may not share the same level of care or commitment as your provider—often shape the overall perception of the facility. That’s a hard but important truth to acknowledge.

Finding Support in the Right People

Despite the challenges, I’ve been fortunate to build relationships with staff members who consistently go above and beyond. These people listen without judgment, follow up as promised, explain processes multiple times if needed, and step outside their designated roles to ensure comfort and clarity.

Some of these individuals have even checked in on me after leaving the clinic, relaying messages to my doctor on my behalf. These are the gems—the ones who “get it.” When you find them, hold onto those connections. They make an enormous difference.

Setting Expectations

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is to set firm expectations with your provider and their staff. As the saying goes: If you settle for less, you’ll accept anything. IVF is too significant a journey to accept anything less than respect, care, and empathy.

We all deserve to be treated fairly and equitably, regardless of race, faith, nationality, or beliefs. If you encounter poor service or communication, take a step back, document everything—names, dates, details—and approach the situation with clarity. This documentation can help you navigate adversity and advocate for yourself effectively.

Gratitude Amidst Challenges

2024 didn’t end the way we had hoped, but it wasn’t without its bright spots. Those moments of encouragement and hope are what keep me moving forward.

As I commit to being more consistent with this blog, I’ll leave you with this reminder:

No amount of regret changes the past.

No amount of anxiety changes the future.

But any amount of gratitude changes the present.

We are ready for whatever comes next!