Riding the Tides of IVF

Realizing how much age impacts a woman’s ability to conceive has hit me deeply. Now in my early forties, navigating this IVF journey, I can’t help but think back to the conversations with the women closest to me—those gentle nudges to start my family sooner rather than later. Those words, once background noise, now feel like distant echoes of what could have been.

A recent Google search showed that, not too long ago, women were having children as early as 21. But over the last few decades, many have chosen to wait—delaying motherhood into their late 20s and early 30s due to career aspirations, financial stability, and access to better healthcare. I was born to a teenage mother—pregnant at 15, giving birth to me at 16. My father, a young college athlete, came back home, and neither of them got the chance to fully explore life before stepping into parenthood. They were young parents with dreams deferred.

A Promise to Myself

Knowing I was the result of two young parents trying to find their way, I made a promise to myself—I would finish high school and college without getting pregnant. I would see the world, chase my dreams, and live fully before stepping into motherhood. And I did. But here’s the thing: living your best life isn’t reserved for a particular decade or stage. It’s something you do every single day. Life has a way of shifting—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse—but what really matters is how you respond to those tides.

If you had told my 19, 25, or even 30-year-old self that I’d be here, struggling to achieve the one thing I always thought was my birthright, I wouldn’t have believed you. I did everything “right.” I put others before myself, stayed focused, earned my degrees—including a Master’s—and yet, the one thing I put off until I had “mastered” everything else now feels just out of reach. The irony.

But here’s the truth: I refuse to carry resentment for my past choices. And if you’re reading this, I encourage you to do the same. Forgive yourself. Let go of the regret. It’s time.

If your faith, determination, and desire to become a mother still burn strong, lean into that. It will carry you through this journey—through the highs and the heartbreaks of IVF.

Adapting to the IVF Tides

This process is a constant ebb and flow. My most recent transfer plan has already changed twice! Initially, my doctor suggested a natural IVF cycle, which relies on the body’s natural rhythm rather than fertility medications. My cycles have always been regular, and I have no documented hormonal issues, so this seemed like a great fit—less invasive, shorter, and more cost-effective. The plan was to use Ovidrel to trigger ovulation, perfectly timing the transfer of one of our frozen embryos.

But then, my body had other plans. My hormones threw a curveball, and just like that—transfer canceled.

We pivoted. My doctor introduced two additional medications, which not only helped grow a follicle but also thickened my uterine lining—the perfect “welcome mat” for an embryo to implant and stick around. If you know, you know! I went into my next appointment with low expectations, not because I lacked hope, but because I’ve learned that timing is not always ours to control.

Then came the good news—my body responded beautifully! My follicle and lining looked great, and I was added to the next transfer calendar. A shift in the tide, in my favor!

Don’t abandon your integrity for the comfort of giving up.

Only to ovulate unexpectedly and have the transfer canceled—again.

Finding Strength in the Journey

So here I am, now on a longer frozen embryo transfer plan with more meds, but still hopeful. Because at the end of the day, what matters is that the tide always comes back in.

Each change, each setback, each unexpected turn—it all presents an opportunity to take inventory of the good, the bad, and everything in between. This journey will test you. But trust that there is redemption in the tide.

IVF will push you to your limits. Plans change in an instant. But when your faith wavers, find time to recover. Restore your belief in what is possible. Accept the journey for what it is and keep going.

Because the lessons learned from riding these waves—the highs and the lows—are what shape us.

And whatever you do, don’t abandon your integrity for the comfort of giving up.